How much responsibility do you have for the changes in your life?

If you feel you want to see certain changes in your life, but they aren’t happening, all sort of thoughts come up. It’s just not for me. I am not strong enough. It is too hard. Changing your life is an illusion. It could really demotivate you.

The mistake you tend to make is to make it personal. Make it about your inability and flaws. And that is too confronting to bare. So you project it on the outside world instead. ‘IT’ is too hard, too unrealistic. None of them are true.

If you installed a certain habit, you have done this over time. Nothing becomes a habit or a belief by experiencing it once. It is the repetition that makes it rooted into our belief patterns.
Remember, Rome wasn’t build in a day.
This means that if it takes time to implement it, it also takes time to disconnect from it and install a new belief and habit. What this implies is patience. You are too impatient.

You need to be patient and consistent. Do the work. There is no magic to this. Everybody has the responsibility to do the work to grow.

Change in itself is very natural. The seasons change, flowers grow, trees grow, babies become adults,…You don’t need to do a lot to let change happen. 

For humans, it is somehow more complicated because we have a mind. And a mind can create positive and negative beliefs and stock them in the subconscious. Negative beliefs you hold on to can form blockages.

When these blockages are formed, they can interrupt your growth. So you need to dismantle your negative beliefs to you can grow again without obstacles. And that is what I mean with ‘the work’.


I don’t say that you need to work on yourself to become better. In the sense that you aren’t ok right now. You need to work to let go of the negative patterns in your system. 

Actually, a better way of saying this is: you need to do the work to FREE yourself. When you are free, you can grow in any direction you are meant to be cause there are no obstacles anymore that hold you back.

Some of my clients make the mistake to think that if they just come to the session, that is enough. But this isn’t true. The therapy is for gaining insights. See things more clearly.


And then, when you have those insights, you need to link them to actions. It is very important to gain insights. But this isn’t enough. 

These insight need to become concrete actions into your daily life.

And therefore you have all kinds of methods: meditation, journaling, yoga,… Best thing that I recommend is to start a daily routine where you dedicate time to implement new positive beliefs that you want to make your new reality.

You have a constant choice in a certain situation to choose what you always did or to make a another choice. All the time in your life you are at a crossroads. What will I choose?


This requires awareness, honesty to yourself and quite some bravery.

It isn’t easy because you can’t blame some else or society anymore for things that go wrong in your life. You acknowledge that you have the responsibility and you call the shots. 

You can compare it when you want to make a delicious spaghetti. You go to the grocery store and there you need to buy everything you need: tomatoes, peppers, cheese… But when you step out of the store, you still don’t have spaghetti. Now you need to go home and prepare everything. And then you will end up with a tasty meal.

You don’t complain at the grocery store your spaghetti has to made when you leave. You know this.


But for happiness you still tend to think it has to ‘happen’ to you.

In a certain way happiness is natural, but you build up some many blockages that you have to clean them up in order for the natural growth to be allowed.


This responsibility is not a burden, it is freedom!

You are free to choose how your life will look like. You are free to choose how much effort you put in getting free from your obstacles so you can live your best life. Discipline is freedom. Discipline is your responsibility.


Your freedom is your responsibility 

You can do a little bit of work and then you get a little bit of result. This is how it is. There is no way to hack or bullshit the system. Work equals results. 

How much do you work? Daily work. This is why a daily morning or evening routine (or both) are your best friends in this process. Check out my other blog posts to learn more or got to my Youtube Channel Selflove Service if you like visuals better.

Mindfulness is really a kickstart of awareness, happiness and growth. : daily meditation of at least 10 minutes. It is about experiencing this moment, letting go of chaotic thinking, let go of ruminating and learning to accept yourself and your life right now.

Let this information sink in, let it come to you. See what is means for you in this moment of your life. Learn to love responsibility and you will be free.


Comment or if you have questions, let me know and I will get back to you!

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