We want to have a different approach for every emotion… as if they were different. But they are not. And that is the root of the problem.
All emotions are the same. They are energy in motion. And their function is to give us messages about our needs. About what we need.
If I ask you ‘How do you handle joy?’, you would tell me you don’t ‘handle’ it, you experience it.
Say you eat a piece of chocolate or you watch your favorite movie. Do you try to handle that? No, you allow it to come to and through you.
You focus on it and you let it happen.
If I say that you want to handle fear the same way as joy, what comes up for you?
The only difference between joy and fear is that they evoke different sensations in the body. Joy brings pleasant sensations and fear unpleasant ones.
It is a natural tendency to step away from unpleasant sensations. It’s a survival mechanism. But let me ask you, did you ever get any further in your life by running away from the unpleasantness of fear?
Fear is your friend, not your enemy. Fear is a protector, a messenger.
It tells us what is dangerous for us, what could bring us harm.
But fear has a flaw you want to be aware of. It is like an overprotective parent that wants to shield you from bad experiences.
This way it keeps you small. It prevents you from stepping outside your comfort zone to grow.
You have to know fear to use it to it’s fullest potential.
It’s important to know when to listen to fear and when to acknowledge its limiting aspect on you. Then you are FREE.
Free to choose what you do with the message of fear.
The reality of being alive is that you will experience fear. Often. And joy too. They are just the opposite sides of the coin called life.
The faster you accept this and allow it into your reality, the smaller the fear of fear dominates you. Fear is not dangerous.
Fear is your friend. Overprotective friend. But love him anyway. It wants good things for you but you have to be smarter than him.
There is this cartoon I know where a girl is sipping tea with fear in the couch. Fear is demonstrated as this little monster and she asks ‘Do you want more tea?’
This is what I am talking about. Treat and see fear as your little monster-friend. It looks scary but it’s not really.
Instead of the first question being ‘Fear, how can I get rid of you’, let it be ‘Fear, what do you want to teach me’?
And then be quiet, be silent. Listen. Close your eyes. What does it say?